Fail

Watching last evening episode of Le Femme made me cried. In one of the scenes, Zoe Tay's character mentioned that when a child did something wrong, it's the fault of the mother. She felt so useless as she stayed home to care for her kids and still she did not do a good job in teaching her children well and she felt that she has failed as a mother. It wasn't a touching scene that I creied but because that's exactly how I feel now.

I just came to realise that it's almost a year since I last wrote a "letter" to my son. Sad to say his behaviour hasn't really improved much. Yes, he still tell lies (though lesser now), among other things. And yesterday he did something really bad. Something I totally didn't expect him to do. I was disappointed. Not with him but myself.

There's a Chinese saying, "养不教，父之过； 教不严，师之惰。" So being a SAHM, the responsibility of teaching the child lies more on the mother rather than the father? I didn't teach him well enough; my fault.

What have I taught him all these years? What have I been doing all these years? Am I really fit to be a mother?

I failed. Nothing anyone want to say can changed that.

失败了。我彻底的失败了。